Italics are mine

"You again" by Debra Jo Immergut: A stunning novel of remembrance, paths not taken and betrayals

 This (Debra Jo Immergut's second novel) turned out to be a phenomenal book, although at first I didn't think I was going to care for it and found the email excerpts gimmicky. But this is a book for anyone who has had to set aside creative aspirations in spite of great, documented talent in order to pay the bills, and finds herself in her mid-forties, taking care of a family, wondering whether she made the right choice. The beginning was a bit slow for me - the premise was interesting, where a middle-aged woman sees her twenty-two-year-old self roaming her/their old haunts in New York, but the writing was a bit scattered and choppy and it was good but not a page turner. Then, with the auction and the introduction of the balcony turning point with Eli (I'm trying hard not to give away any spoiler!), the book delivered sucker punch after sucker punch and I just couldn't put it down, although I didn't care that much about the son and the related subplot except for the final twists at Mariah's party and later. I read the last 2/3 or so in one day. It was really well done. Subplots came together nicely. This book will stay with me a long time.

I suppose You again will only resonate with a fraction of the book-reading public (not everyone seems slated for a staggeringly successful career in the arts and then chooses paying the bills), but the readers it resonates with will find themselves deeply moved. Interestingly enough, Ms Immergut herself chose paying the bills in a New York corporate career for decades after her MFA at the Iowa Writers' Workshop before getting laid off and returning to fiction writing. I am glad she did. An impressive novel.

Unexpected gem: "How to write an autobiographical novel" by Alexander Chee

 I bought this when I was in Melbourne, Australia in November, and after reading the first few essays I didn't think I was going to care enough to finish it. I set it aside and I gave it another try in late August, about ten months later, when I had to decide whether to keep reading or discard it. This time around, I loved it. Perhaps it was because I made it to "After Peter" and "My Parade". After that there was no putting the book down. It is unfortunate that the first few essays didn't come across as quite as strong compared to the ones later in the book, because this collection of essays is deeply original and shows a perspective of the world that is very vivid and unique to the author. Basically, this book is the reason why people like me read books. And the chapter about the day after the 2016 election is one of the very best essays I've ever read. Five stars.

Best modern dance DVD: "If the dancer dances"

This is one of the very best modern dance DVDs I've ever watched, and maybe the best. We are treated to the rehearsals by a New York modern dance company troupe of a dance by Merce Cunningham. They struggle with a style that is not their own, under the watchful eye of Cunningham-trained dancers sent to help them master the new material. The grace and originality of the movements is breathtaking. The personality of the dancers and trainers comes through. They are all united in a deep respect of Cunningham's dances, and I found this movie far more interesting than the Cunningham DVD that was released recently. Highly recommended.

Iconic Painter: "Alice Neel"

For some reason I had never heard about Alice Neel before I watched this DVD (and I love Abstract Expressionism), but I was taken aback by her masterful portraits and her complicated life. One of her kids died in infancy. Her husband took her baby girl to Cuba to introduce her to his parents in the hope they would give the family money, and didn't bring her back. (That girl, Isabella, committed suicide in 1982, two years before her mother's death.) And yet she emerged as one of the most original portrait artists of the twentieth century. Did trauma help her view the world differently, or was she naturally so inclined? The movie doesn't explain it, yet it provides a very good description of her life and work. Plus, New York City. No way I wasn't going to like this. Five stars, obviously.

Great introduction to Anna Akhmatova's life and work: "A Poetic Pilgrimage" by Amanda Haight

I feel tremendously lucky that I snatched the last used copy of A Poetic Pilgrimage by Amanda Haight on Amazon.com. It provided a short but focused and compelling introduction to Akhmatova's life and work and offered gorgeous translations of her poems as well as the best explanations of them that I have ever read. Coming out of re-reading her selected poems in Everyman's Library Pocket Poets Series, I felt there was enormous value in placing them in the context of her life while also steering clear of the most obvious explanations. I also noticed when I read the Everyman's volume that her production seems to have been much slimmer in 1920 and it was interesting to read that it was because of the man she was with at the time. I don't remember reading about another artist who seems to have borne such general unhappiness in her personal life and sometimes crushing sorrow (she had many failed relationships and her relationship to her son was difficult too and some of her friends and lovers died under Stalinism) as what she viewed as the price she had to bear for her unique sensibility. I am not trying to say she viewed it as "worth it", but people who feel like they belong to the world and are content generally don't have a burning drive to break conventions and forge a unique creative path.

My favorite quote is on p.1: "She had to learn early to accept the fact that the sacrifice of her poetic gifts could not make her what she was not, an ordinary woman."